


from the stars to you

by Carmailo



Series: Voltron One Shots [17]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 15:50:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14335848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmailo/pseuds/Carmailo
Summary: Please listen to the first two songs for added effect.





	from the stars to you

**Author's Note:**

> _[Please listen to the first two songs for added effect.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i79M4nKW1Ms) _

A breeze rushes past, his jacket flapping behind him.

“Lance…” Keith starts, heartbreak on his tongue.

“It’s beautiful,” Lance breathes. “So beautiful.”

Keith frowns, at a loss.

“I want to see another sunset with you.” Lance says suddenly.

“We’ll see all of them together,” Keith promises quickly, “from now until forever.”

“I’d like that,” Lance says, leaning over the edge a little bit. The ledge only comes up to his hips, so Keith moves closer in case Lance leans any further over.

Keith stares at Lance. Stares at the way orange sunlight bursts across his features and paints him differently than what he’s begun to look like as of late.

_Pale. Sickly. Faded._

Keith drops his eyes down, to the ledge where his fingers are clasped over one another, only a short distance away from Lance’s hands.

He sighs.

“Forever, huh?” he murmurs, dragging his gaze up to the sky. He’s met with a blinding sun, dusk setting the sky on fire, in hues of orange, red, pink, purple.

Lance, still watching the sky intently, sticks out his pinky and lets it touch one of Keith’s.

Keith looks down at their fingers again. Hooks his pinky around Lance’s.

“Forever might be a little unrealistic, I guess,” Lance suggests, “especially considering…”

Keith is silent, still watching their hands.

“At least once more, okay?” Lance asks, “we’ll watch the sunset at least one more time. That’s all you have to give me.”

Keith’s brow pinches, and he brings an intense gaze to Lance’s face. “I’ll give you forever,” he says, “I’ll show you every damn sunset, and we’ll watch them together, like we are now. I promise.”

Lance’s brows draw together, and then he smiles, sad. “Yeah,” he says, “I’d really like that.”

And then he starts crying, so Keith pulls him close and lets Lance soak the shoulder of his shirt in tears.

They don’t get to go on the roof to see another sunset.

...✦.✦.✦...

“Have you heard?” Lance asks tiredly, threading his fingers through Keith’s, “how long is left?”

Keith is quiet, hanging his head, and Lance takes his silence as answer enough.

“I don’t want to miss a second of what’s left,” Lance admits.

Keith works his jaw.

“ _So,_ ” Lance continues pointedly, “you have to stop being so broody and talk to me.”

Keith frowns, but keeps his head down.

“...At least lift your head, Keith. Please,” Lance says, desperation clear in his voice. “Let me see your face.”

Immediately Keith feels guilty. He shouldn’t be forcing Lance to deal with this. Not now.

“I’m sorry,” Keith says, lifting his gaze. His eyes are wet, he knows.

“No, don’t apologize,” Lance says.

“I just…” Keith trails off, the lump in his throat suddenly all he can focus on, turning his gaze to the window. It’s pitch-black out, and he tries not to think about how they still haven’t gotten to see another sunset in person, instead of through a fingerprint-covered window.

“I know,” Lance says softly, but he _doesn’t._

“No,” Keith says, “I don’t want to lose you.”

Lance is quiet, dropping his gaze to his sheets.

“I _can’t_ lose you,” Keith says, voice falling away.

Tears streak onto his cheeks, and he tries _so hard_ to keep them at bay.

“It’s okay,” Lance says, “I’m still here. We still have time.”

“But I want to have _forever,_ ” Keith says, a sob breaking from his throat, “not a few weeks or maybe a month if we’re _lucky._ I want to spend every single day with you. I want to wake up with you and fall asleep with you and, Lance, and-” Keith cuts off, dropping his head onto their joined hands.

“I know, I know,” Lance says quietly, “me too.”

“I don’t-... it wasn’t supposed to go like this,” Keith insists, voice muffled by the blankets. “I can’t lose you.”

Lance’s free hand finds Keith’s head, and he cards his fingers through the dark locks, feeling as if he needs to cry but not being able to because crying won’t change anything, and he’s already shed all his tears, anyways.

“I can’t lose you.”

...✦.✦.✦...

Lance presses his face against Keith’s neck, “I can’t go out,” he murmurs, “too cold.”

“Don’t worry,” Keith insists, fighting the overwhelming sadness in his heart that threatens to overtake him at any moment, “I know.”

They end up at a giant floor-to-ceiling window, just as dawn begins to lick at the sky.

Keith lets Lance down, but holds tight to him, supporting.

“Wow,” Lance breathes, jaw falling open. He takes the half step away from Keith, supporting himself on the railing, just so he can get even a little bit closer.

Keith stares at Lance, committing every slope, every plane, to memory. They don’t have long left now, do they?

Keith gives up after a moment. There’s no way he’ll be able to contain Lance to a few memories. Lance is so much more than that. Slowly, Keith brings his gaze to the sunrise.

Keith reaches out and takes Lance’s hand, squeezing gently once.

“It’s not a sunset,” Keith murmurs, “but I hope you like it anyways.”

Lance doesn’t say anything for a while, and it takes Keith just as much time to realize it’s because Lance is crying, resigned.

“I _love_ it,” he says finally.

“Lance,” Keith says, “let’s get married.”

“Keith…” Lance starts.

“I know, I know.” Keith nods, “but just…”

Keith doesn’t do anything for a second, swallowing the lump in his throat as best he can.

And then he gets on his knee and clears his throat.

“Will you marry me?”

Lance brings his gaze away from the view and seems to cry harder, mouth pressing into a wobbly line. “No, Keith, I can’t do that to you.”

 _It’s too late for that,_ Keith thinks. _Getting married won’t change a thing._

“Lance, let’s pretend for a second. Nothing’s wrong. Just… tell me, honestly. What you’d say if we had time.”

“I’d say yes. Of course I’d say yes.” Lance murmurs.

Then, Lance sinks to his knees at Keith’s side. He embraces Keith, pressing his damp face against Keith’s bare neck.

“I bought rings,” Keith says, “at least just tell me if I bought good ones or not.”

Lance laughs a little, rocking back onto his bottom. He sits cross-legged, and Keith reaches into his pocket, pulling out a box. He flips it open, revealing two pale silver bands. Both are carved intricately, one in a blue so pale it’s almost silver, and the other a red so light it’s almost invisible.

“Yes,” Lance says, “they’re gorgeous.”

“Can I call a minister?” Keith asks. “Let’s get married.”

“Okay,” Lance nods, still teary-eyed, “let’s get married.”

So they watch the sunrise all the way, and then they call their parents and all their close friends and a minister.

And they get married.

Hunk and Pidge have the bright idea to pick up a veil from a bridal store, and Lance loves it. He gets to take off his hospital gown and wear a white button down and bow-tie. Keith matches in black, and the two of them get married, right there in the middle of a hospital. Someone brings a small cake. Someone else plays their song on a tiny speaker, and they have their first dance.

Keith pretends it’s okay that Lance needs help with his ring. Smiles even though Lance’s fingers shake as they cut into the cake. Tries not to break down and _weep_ when Lance can’t dance, so the two of them just sort of press close and sway.

“Thank you, Keith.” Lance whispers later, back in his gown and bed.

“I haven’t done anything,” Keith murmurs back, tucking Lance under his arm.

“You’ve done more than everything,” Lance insists.

“Because I love you,” Keith replies.

“I love you, too.” Lance says.

They lay together a while, the soft glow of moonlight glancing across their skin.

“I’m gonna miss it,” Lance says finally.

“Hm?” Keith hums, prompting Lance to continue.

“Everything. Earth. I’m gonna miss it all. From the stars to the sky to the moon to my home, to my family. To you.”

Keith presses closer. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

Lance squeezes his eyes shut.

“Thank you for everything,” he repeats.

...✦.✦.✦...

Lance dies exactly three days after marrying Keith.

Keith’s heart breaks, and he kicks it away, dissociating as best he can.

Keith’s sorrow is quiet, and he masks it by throwing himself into work and always, always, being distracted. He develops a system: work, come home, sleep. Wake up, repeat. He eats when he’s forced to, or when he’s so hungry it’s painful and he’s forced to take notice.

But his suffering isn’t really the point, is it?

The bottom line is that Lance is gone.

And that hurts more than anything he could possibly do to himself.

_“Thank you for everything.”_

Keith glances at the clock.

3:52 AM.

Again, he can’t sleep.

His fingers twitch, and he wonders if he should open the letter yet.

It’s got his name written across the back, all capitals because Lance liked the look of uppercase better than lowercase.

Keith sits up, flicking on his lamp. He reaches out for the letter, and turns it between his fingers.

 _To the love of my life,_ it reads, _Keith._

Keith flips it over.

_From Lance._

Keith runs his fingers over the print.

He wonders when Lance wrote this. Where he kept it when he had visitors. How he just _knew_ the words he wanted to leave people with.

Keith picks up his phone and is dialing before he even realizes it.

On Keith’s bedside table, Lance’s phone lights up, buzzing.

_“Hey, it’s Lance! I’m away from the phone right now, so please call back or try Keith’s pho-”_

In the background, Keith’s voice, and then Lance’s laughter as it cuts to the tone.

“Hey, Lance.” Keith breathes.

He feels stupid.

Lance isn’t going to hear this message.

Isn’t going to hear the other thirteen, either.

Keith is quiet.

Finally he says, “come back.” and drops his phone in his lap, hanging up.

And then he cries.

He cries like there’s no tomorrow, cries like he’ll never see happiness again, because he _won’t,_ how can he in a world without Lance?

He cries for the first time since that day in the hospital where he told Lance he’d miss him. He cries harder than he did when his mom left him, a tiny six-year-old who had no idea where his mother had gone.

So, that’s, like, a sign, right? It feels like some sort of shift, so Keith reaches out and picks up the letter with blurry vision, carefully opening the envelope.

He takes a deep breath before he pulls the actual letter out, unfolding it carefully.

And he sits up against his headboard and reads it.

And reads it again.

And cries some more before reading it again.

Then, he folds it carefully and places it into the envelope again.

He sets the envelope on his night table and turns off his lamp, falling into darkness.

Keith cries himself to sleep for the first time he can remember.

...✦.✦.✦...

_Keith._

_I’m so sorry._

_H̶o̶w̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶I̶_

_I̶'m̶_

_What do I tell you?_

_I can’t stomach the thought of leaving you._

_It’s… hard to think about the fact that I only have a week left with you at most._

_I keep looking at my ring and smiling, you know._

_You’re asleep right now, and my fingers are shaking so bad I can barely even write this._

_I just needed to tell you this before it’s too late, because I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to say it before I’m dead._

_God._

_I can’t believe I’m dying._

_But that’s not the point. This isn’t supposed to be a depressing letter._

_I’m gone, now. I know that much. I told Shiro not to give anyone these letters until I was. (tell him thanks for that, will you? I know you haven’t seen him since I died. Unless you’ve already had my funeral. Weird. Writing that in past tense.)_

_Anyways._

_If I’m dead, it means you’re grieving, and (not to sound too self-assured in how much I matter but) you’re in mourning._

_(I told you we shouldn’t have gotten married. It’s probably making things harder. (I’m still glad that we did, though. I had a nice wedding.))_

_Knowing you, what that looks like is you throwing yourself into work and generally dissociating._

_I’m going to remind you that you’re not alone._

_Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Shiro, Matt… they’re all probably upset, too._

_So don’t suffer quietly, okay?_

_You’re not alone._

_Not by a longshot._

_I want you to call Shiro._

_Tell him what’s up._

_Then I want you to visit my mom and bring her some flowers. Let her make you dinner._

_And then I want you to take a day off work and do something. Go to the beach. Read a book. Write a song. Smash my guitar, if it’ll make you feel better._

_Actually, maybe don’t do that last thing. That’s an important guitar._

_Point is, you’re not allowed to sit around and be sad. I decided._

_Keith, my love. You’re too beautiful to spend the rest of your days sad._

_Go eat something, please._

_Come to my grave and tell me who wins American Idol._

_Smile._

_Watch another sunset with me._

_And, if it’s not too much to ask…_

_Move on. But, please try not to forget me, okay?_

_You mean the world to me._

_You don’t have to do any of the other stuff._

_Just please don’t forget me._

_I’m sorry for everywhere I fell short._

_Sorry for bothering you._

_I’m sorry for dying._

_I love you so, so much._

_Yours forever and always,_

_Lance._

**Author's Note:**

> highkey inspired by ylia OSTs
> 
> im not still crying over it you are


End file.
